“It Isn’t where you come from, its where your going that counts”- Ella Fitzgerald
Adoptive families have a history of being filled with myths such as “being an adopted child is no different from being any other child” and shame over any feelings of being different because of adoption. But this culture of silence results in unasked questions, isolation, and confusion. Adoption is many different things to many different people, but what it should never be is silenced. Its normal to be effected by adoption, to have questions about the experience, and to experience your life as different because of it. Come in and talk to someone that can help you understand the complexity of the unique life experience of adoption.
Parents of Adoptees
Parents Considering Adoption
Couples Counseling for Partners Having Difficulties with Adoption
Do you sometimes feel like you don’t belong. Like there might be something wrong with you? Do you wonder whether being adopted has affected your ability to feel close to others? Do you worry that you are too different from other people to form a real connection?
Every person who is adopted has a unique experience. Being adopted is something that can’t be taken away, it’s always with you. This is not always a bad thing, but it can become painful if it goes un-acknowledged. For most adoptee’s who are now adults, adoption has had a large impact on their lives. It an be hard to know how to be an adult in a world that was so confusing as a child.
Its normal to have thoughts about your adoption. To have questions about your biological family and confusion about how being adopted has changed the way your interact with the world. Its normal to feel hampered in some of your relationships. Adoption can effect you in so many little ways, but no pain or confusion needs to be permanent.
Until recently most adoptions were shrouded in secrecy or shame. But your future does not have to be. Learn to acknowledge who you really are and understand yourself without letting your life be hampered by your past. Learn to understand who you are.
PARENTS OF ADOPTEES
Want to now more about how to support your adopted child? About how to support yourself? How do you make sure you are giving your child what they need without loosing yourself? Do you worry that it may all be too much?
Adoption families face unique challenges that may require extra support. An adopted child can be loved like any other child but still experience extra barriers. Knowing that you chose this relationship can make it hard to acknowledge the difficulties you are now facing in your family or in your relationship.
It is common to have phases of difficulty in adopted families. Its important to remember that, while you love your family, all adoptions start with tragedy. Many children who are adopted have seen or experienced painful things that they now carry around with them. Similarly, many people who adopt have their own painful experiences that in some cases, may even have caused them to decide to adopt.
Don’t hide your difficulties. These are common problems that can be faced with support from therapy or by joining an adoption community. Learn how to support yourself and your family. Learn how to create a family of growth.
Parents Considering Adoption
Deciding whether or not to adopt a child can be one of the biggest decisions of your life. Even if you have already made the decision it can be helpful to talk about how this change will effect you, what to expect, and how to make the transition a positive experience for everyone.
Take a moment to understand what it will mean to you and your family to adopt. Recognize what this change will bring and how to go about doing it in the most caring way. Give yourself the chance to enter the next chapter of your life prapared.
COUPLES COUNSELING FOR PARTNERS HAVING DIFFICULTY WITH ADOPTION
Adopting a child can bring up many confusing experiences and issues. Any new child can add pressure to a relationship and often an adopted child will have a history of trauma that can be triggering for parents. Sometimes underlying issues that have gone unnoticed or ignored in a relationship will suddenly surface.
Give your relationship the help it needs to process this change. Learn how to work as a team and create the family life you were dreaming of.
Have a Question? Contact Shoshana
Questions are the root of all answers.
Don’t Be Shy!